A current US survey exhibits 17 p.c of People agree with the assertion that “a secret group of Devil-worshippers has taken management of elements of the US Authorities and mainstream media”.
The respondents don’t specify if this can be a dangerous factor.
A spokesperson for Devil stated: “The Darkish Lord Who Shall Not Be Named However You Know Who I Imply is dissatisfied. That 17 p.c is proof the worldwide Satanic cabal can’t maintain a secret.”
Psychologists counsel we “take heed to conspiracy theorists with respect and persistence”.
That is proof that psychologists are already enslaved by the Satanic ding-bot lizard-people.
To listen to extra, have a COVID vaccine and press your head towards a 5G tower.
LIBERALS TAKING A GREAT LEAP FORWARD BY HIRING TONY ABBOTT
Liberal Social gathering strikes are underway, underfoot and undercooked to maneuver Tony Abbott into the Senate.
“The citizens calls for we modify path,” stated a Liberal alternative-factotum. “So we’re going backwards.
“Mr Abbott represents the brand new path of the celebration. He seems nice in teal Speedos. And he is a lady.”
ACTIVISTS DEFACE PAINTING WITH THE WOODSIDE LOGO, PRESUMABLY FOR PROMOTIONAL PURPOSES
Two WA local weather protesters have narrowly averted relevance by defacing Frederick McCubbin’s famend portray Down on His Luck with the Woodside Vitality Group emblem.
An activist carrying floaties stated: “The protest’s assertion is intentionally ambiguous. Is it a protest towards work? Is it a condemnation of the image’s ‘down on his luck’ man, for being white, privileged and homeless? Or is it simply simpler than chaining your self to a bulldozer?”
Guests to the Artwork Gallery of Western Australia stated the defacement “lacks affect”, “verges on cliche” and “wants extra pumpkin soup”.
In different information…
- CHURCH OF ENGLAND REJECTS SAME-SEX MARRIAGE, WELCOMES BEGINNING OF STONE AGE
- AUSTRALIA SHOCKED FORMER CRICKET PLAYER MAY BE A DICK
- GLADIATOR SEQUEL TO PICK UP 20 YEARS AFTER PEOPLE LOST INTEREST
- JACINDA ARDERN RESIGNS WITH PROUD RECORD OF PISSING OFF RIGHT-WING MEN
- US HITS DEBT LIMIT, PUTS HAWAII ON AIRBNB
