VISIBLE WIND TURBINES HAVE NO FANS
The Albanian authorities is planning a whole bunch of gigantic offshore wind generators.
However there may be blowback and forth.
A Gippsland gipp-farmer mentioned, “How a lot of the surroundings will we sacrifice within the identify of the surroundings?”
“All of it,” mentioned a greenie turning pink (on the surface).
The wind generators stand 350 meters above sea stage, a sight for sore eyesores.
The seen renewables might save lives. A drowning man would possibly clutch at a 350-metre-tall wind turbine.
“Generators will spoil the view,” complained a son of a beach-bunny. “If we simply preserve burning coal, the ocean view will get nearer.”
Anti-wind turbine protesters are planning to connect themselves to the ocean.
US DECLARES TOTAL PEACE ON RUSSIA
The USA has agreed to ship 31 M1 Abrams battle tanks to Ukraine within the identify of peace.
“Tanks for nothing!” mentioned Ukrainian President Zelensky.
German tanks are additionally heading into Ukraine, however in a pleasant approach – not just like the outdated days.
“Regardless of appearances, we’re not at conflict with Russia,” mentioned US Military Basic Cluster. “Lately, different folks combat our wars for us.”
High secret paperwork present in US President Joe Biden’s storage reveal “Putin plans to decimate and bomb Alaska”.
Correction: “Putin plans to masticate Bombe Alaska.”
Joe Biden insists Ukraine will not be one other Vietnam. “The meals is totally different and this isn’t the ’60s. That was a decade in the past.”
INFLATION INFLATING
Elevated energy and meals bills imply Aussies can’t have their cake and prepare dinner it too.
Individuals are tightening their belts. That’s, if they will afford belts.
“A penny on your ideas,” supplied a complete banker, “and your future.”
Economists are backing a ninth consecutive rate of interest rise, and a trifecta on the fourth at Randwick.
MANUKA HONEY CURES EVERYTHING BUT GULLIBILITY
Australia has overwhelmed New Zealand for the naming rights of Manuka honey. This has outraged the Manuka honey’s inventors – bees.
Beekeepers have accused bees of getting a chip on their pollen basket.
A protest was held at an Auckland Beekeeping Conference. The place was buzzing.
There’s not sufficient proof that Manuka honey’s magic ingredient, Methylglyoxal, does any good contained in the physique.
Naturopaths agree this lack of scientific proof will increase its worth.
In different information…
BEST ANSWER TO “WHAT ARE WE CELEBRATING?” GETS TO PICK NEW AUSTRALIA DAY
BANNING OF INFLATABLE SEX TOYS A BIG LET DOWN
PROPOSAL TO TURN KOSCIUSKO BRUMBIES INTO ‘EXTREME PONY RIDES’
OLDEST COMPLETE MUMMY FOUND IN CAIRO TOMB FULL OF CLASSIFIED US DOCUMENTS
TRUMP AND FACEBOOK RACING EACH OTHER TO BECOME MOST IRRELEVANT
VIRGINIA SCHOOL KNEW 6yo HAD GUN AFTER WARNING FROM TIP-ME-OFF ELMO
